Unfortunately I had forgotten the idiotprufs first rule of waiting: regardless of whatever line, queue, lane, or number taking method being used to make people wait, the line I happen to choose, will come to a screeching, flaming, imploding halt.
Just as it did this day:
Cashier:Did you check the eggs to…
Ours is a nation whose shores are teeming with experts. They are vital to our existence. We could barely function on daily basis if not for these titans of knowledge and purveyors of wisdom. We know these things because it’s what they tell us.
We expect much of our experts, and they tell us how to do many ways:
- They tell us what to do.
- They tell us what not to do.
- They tell us what to think.
It seems the man, who was traveling with the monkey, had stopped at a local market to pick up a few things. While he was inside, the monkey made his way across the street and onto a construction site…
Lady Bigfoot: upset about the allegation of floppy breasts.
In a recent post, A Case of Delusion?, I shared a few tips from the Facebook page of a group devoted to Bigfoot hunting. The page’s creator, John Reed, related the following tips if you should happen to find yourself face to face with a Sasquatch:
“bigfoot tip #1 when being chased by a sasquatch run up hill if its a male .. they have an…
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The prickly weed; a very underappreciated weed.
The signs of spring are all around you:
- The temperature has warmed.
- The sound of birds chirping in the morning has replaced the sound of snowblowers and the guy across the street complaining bitterly as he scrapes the ice from his car.
- And the sound of his cursing as another ice-scraper breaks off in his hand and he yells, “that’s it, I’m leaving…
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“I hope no one saw me.”
A resident of the great commonwealth of Pennsylvania, has reported to police that his 1973 Winnebago motor home was vandalized by a Bigfoot. The windows and tail lights were broken out with what he described as a fusillade of rocks.
Is that delusional?
Note: isn’t fusillade a fun word to use?
In the police report the suspect was described as: “very large, brown in color,…
The vile coconut.
Coconut makes me sick. If I bite into something with coconut in it, I will immediately begin to gag.
The mere smell of coconut makes me nauseous. In fact anything coconut scented bothers me.
Am I telling you this because I’m a whiny little crybaby? A little bit, but I do have a point.
I was attempting to take a shower at my friend Lance’s house.
Note: normally I don’t use real…
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The troubled leprechaun.
Golden Valley, Minnesota–In a shocking turn of events, longtime mascot of Lucky Charms cereal, Lucky the Leprechaun, was charged with driving while under the influence, resisting arrest and attempted bribery, according to Minnesota state police. Upon pulling him over, he was found with several empty bottles of Irish whiskey, and a half-eaten box of Lucky Charms cereal. “I…
An almost perfect likeness of the Creator. Well…maybe if it were a little more sinister.
(image source: wpclipart.com)
It was an omelet in the way Frankenstein’s monster was a human.
While its creator’s intentions may have been noble, the result was a seething beast that mocked nature and good culinary practices in general.
The plate sat before me, its contents bubbled and oozed, its…
Check out my post at That Drawer in the Kitchen.
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