Striving everyday to do least stupid thing possible, generally failing.

18th April 2014

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Just the Eggs Ma’am

Just the Eggs Ma’am

broken egg shellPurchasing two dozen eggs at the supermarket is something that ought to be quick and simple.

Unfortunately I had forgotten the idiotprufs first rule of waiting: regardless of whatever line, queue, lane, or number taking method being used to make people wait, the line I happen to choose, will come to a screeching, flaming, imploding halt.

Just as it did this day:

Cashier:Did you check the eggs to…

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Tagged: comedyEaster eggseggsfunnyhumorhumouridiocyRockyRocky Balboawaiting

14th April 2014

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"Experts"

“Experts” http://wp.me/s2e3Js-experts

expertOurs is a nation whose shores are teeming with experts. They are vital to our existence. We could barely function on daily basis if not for these titans of knowledge and purveyors of wisdom. We know these things because it’s what they tell us.

We expect much of our experts, and they tell us how to do many ways:

  • They tell us what to do.
  • They tell us what not to do.
  • They tell us what to think.
  • They…

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Tagged: comedyDilbertdumbassdumbass hordeexpertsfunnyhumorhumouridiocyidiotlistssatire

10th April 2014

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Man In Yellow Hat Jailed After Destructive Tirade.

Man In Yellow Hat Jailed After Destructive Tirade.

North East, Pennsylvania–In a bizarre story involving a construction site, a mischievous monkey and a bulldozer; a man in a big yellow hat was taken into custody following a destructive tirade.

It seems the man, who was traveling with the monkey, had stopped at a local market to pick up a few things. While he was inside, the monkey made his way across the street and onto a construction site…

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Tagged: comedyCurious GeorgefunnyhumorhumouridiocyidiotTranquilliser gunYellow hat

4th April 2014

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Lady Bigfoot Responds to allegation of Floppy Breasts

Lady Bigfoot Responds to allegation of Floppy Breasts

bigfoot boobs idiotprufs

Lady Bigfoot: upset about the allegation of floppy breasts.

In a recent post, A Case of Delusion?, I shared a few tips from the Facebook page of a group devoted to Bigfoot hunting. The page’s creator, John Reed, related the following tips if you should happen to find yourself face to face with a Sasquatch:

“bigfoot tip #1 when being chased by a sasquatch run up hill if its a male .. they have an…

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Tagged: Bigfootboobsbreastscomedydumbassdumbass hordefunnyhumorhumouridiocyidiotMaury PovichVictoria&039;s Secret

1st April 2014

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Spring 2014: More Mooning Garden Gnomes.

Spring 2014: More Mooning Garden Gnomes.

idiotprufs, prickly weed

The prickly weed; a very underappreciated weed.

The signs of spring are all around you:

  • The temperature has warmed.
  • The sound of birds chirping in the morning has replaced the sound of snowblowers and the guy across the street complaining bitterly as he scrapes the ice from his car.
  • And the sound of his cursing as another ice-scraper breaks off in his hand and he yells, “that’s it, I’m leaving…

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Tagged: bad neighborfunnygardengarden gnomesgreen thumbHomeHome and GardenhumorhumouridiocyidiotPlant

31st March 2014

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A Case of Delusion?

A Case of Delusion?

idiotprufs bigfoot

“I hope no one saw me.”

A resident of the great commonwealth of Pennsylvania, has reported to police that his 1973 Winnebago motor home was vandalized by a Bigfoot. The windows and tail lights were broken out with what he described as a fusillade of rocks.

Is that delusional?

Note: isn’t fusillade a fun word to use?

In the police report the suspect was described as: “very large, brown in color,…

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Tagged: Bigfootcomedyfunnyhumorhumouridiocyidiotsatire

28th March 2014

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A Healthy and Shiny Coat

A Healthy and Shiny Coat

coconut idiotprufs

The vile coconut.

Coconut makes me sick. If I bite into something with coconut in it, I will immediately begin to gag.

The mere smell of coconut makes me nauseous. In fact anything coconut scented bothers me.

Am I telling  you this because I’m a whiny little crybaby?  A little bit, but I do have a point.

I was attempting to take a shower at my friend Lance’s house.

Note: normally I don’t use real…

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Tagged: coconutcomedyfunnyhumorhumouridiotNadia Comenecisatireshampoo

17th March 2014

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Lucky the Leprechaun Busted

Lucky the Leprechaun Busted

idiotprufs, luck the leprechaun

The troubled leprechaun.

Golden Valley, Minnesota–In a shocking turn of events, longtime mascot of Lucky Charms cereal, Lucky the Leprechaun, was charged with driving while under the influence, resisting arrest and attempted bribery, according to Minnesota state police. Upon pulling him over, he was found with several empty bottles of Irish whiskey, and a half-eaten box of Lucky Charms cereal. “I…

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Tagged: cerealcomedyfunnyhumorhumouridiocyidiotLeprechaunLuckysatireSt. Patricks Day

13th March 2014

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Frankenstein’s Omelet

Frankenstein’s Omelet

frankenstein's omelet idiotprufs

An almost perfect likeness of the Creator. Well…maybe if it were a little more sinister.
(image source: wpclipart.com)

It was an omelet in the way Frankenstein’s monster was a human.

While its creator’s intentions may have been noble, the result was a seething beast that mocked nature and good culinary practices in general.

The plate sat before me, its contents bubbled and oozed, its…

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Tagged: bad cookingcomedyfearfrankensteinfunnyhumorhumouridiocyidiotomeletsatire

12th March 2014

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What’s in that Drawer in the Kitchen?

Check out my post at That Drawer in the Kitchen.

What’s in that Drawer in the Kitchen?

Check out my post at That Drawer in the Kitchen.

Tagged: comedyfunnyhumorhumouridiocyidiotsatireThat drawer in the Kitchen